I was going to wrote a nice Christmas poem for our Christmas letter. It didn't go so well. Instead, Laura wrote this year's Christmas letter.
Twas the night before Christmas, I walked through the house
and not a thing was finished, no lights on the house.
Laura's stockings were hanging, in the bathroom still wet,
and we're waiting for Fed Ex to deliver our gifts.
The dogs were snoozing stinking up their beds,
visions of dog treats dancing in their heads.
Laura in her pj's and me in my boxers,
Just settled in for a long comfy snooze.
When out in the yard the arose a crash-boom!
I sprang from my bed, boxers falling to my ankles.
I flew to the window naked as a jaybird.
Flashed my gun at the intruder and called him an ass.
There was supposed to be more, but I got discouraged and started drinking...
We didn't get our Christmas letters mailed until Jan. 11.