Sunday, November 28, 2010

My Gameday.

Beep, beep, beep.....beep, beep, beep.  Can't be? Morning already? Up. Shower. Cafeine. Must have cafeine. Check camera gear.  Take two chocolate chip cookies. Don't forget. Don't forget. Don't forget, anything. Drive. Eat cookies. Stephen King audiobook. Freaky. Where does he come up with this?  American Flag painting in Lacey's Spring. Highway thirty-six, two-lane. Horses in the morning frost. Stephen King gets morbid. I-65 southbound. Fast cars. Slow trucks. Sixty-four ounces - bad idea. Rest stop. Better. Drive. REM, U2, Pink Floyd, Sheryl Crow, Dave Matthews, Tom Petty, Cake, Amos Lee, John Hiatt...thank you XM Radio. Giving Steven a break...freaky tolerance needs a music break. Magic City? Why? Burning smoke stacks. Brake lights. Brake lights. Brake lights. Interstate parking lot. Crawl, crawl, crawl. Tuscaloosa: 26 miles. You've gotta be kidding me! Rude drivers in fancy cars. Assholes. Try new route to Bryant - Denny. Walking is faster than driving. University Drive on game day. New route, bad idea. Drunk football fans at 10:00 am. Saturday in the South. "Roll Tide", "War Eagle" starts - won't stop for twelve hours. Twelve hours! Park in Ten Hoors parking. Name still makes me laugh. Pack gear. Check gear. Listened to weatherman...leave rain gear in car. Walk, walk, walk. Can they park photographers any further away? Wonder how much shirpas make in Tibet? People everywhere. Wandering aimlessly, or drunk. Roll Tide/War Eagle, incessant. Frat houses: alcohol in a box.  Walk, walk, walk. Knee hurts, already. Bryant - Denny is a big place. Walk, walk, walk. Photographers underneath stadium. How many photographers can fit in a room?  We'll know soon. Photographers from all over Alabama. Photographers are funny people. Rain on radar. What!? Bastard weatherman. Lying bastard. Pray for waterproof angel to hover over me. Shoot fans. Freaky fans. Cold fans. Find Cam. Shoot Cam. Mullet offers good advice. Mullet is a great photographer and a good guy. Computer troubles. Never fails, something always fails. Coworkers tell me I'm shooting end-game coach shot. Crap. Kickoff. Shooting football, not my strength. Shooting football...pretty fun. Auburn's ass handed to them in a hat. Where is this Cam Newton Magic?  Sad Auburn fans. LOUD, LOUD, LOUD Bama fans. Notice that cheerleaders are very small, very small. Do they breed them that way? In photo cave at halftime. Funny, wet photographers.  Stupid weather man. Edit photos. Hungry. Cold hot dog. Think about sportswriters eating warm Thanksgiving buffet in pressbox. Wonder if maybe once, they could have the cold hot dogs?  Twenty minutes pass. Hear kickoff in tunnel. Gather gear and head out tunnel. Auburn scores before I reach the end of the tunnel. Auburn - score, score, score. WTF! Bryant-Denny going nuts. Pass ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit. Nice suit, no rain gear and he's not wet. Three minutes left...Bama can't win. Dump 400mm in photo cave. Dejection shots.  Dejection everywhere. Angry Bama assistant - No photos, no photos, no photos. You gotta be kidding me? Game over. Run, run, run...where's Saban? There, got handshake shot. Find Cam. Found Cam. Cam runs, and runs and runs.  Cam runs, stops, waves to fans, I catch up to Cam, Cam runs. this goes on for a long time. Keeping up with a Heismann candidate? I'm too old for this.  Shoot Cam. Two photogs knocked on their ass.  Glad it wasn't me.  Back to photo hole.  Photographers shucking rain gear. Say a thank you prayer for my waterproof angel. Download photos, edit photos, caption photos. Wish I was a better sports shooter. Photog next to me gets call from photo editor. Photog next to me throws phone at wall. Deadlines make people uptight.  Send photos. Pack gear. Walk, walk...locked gate. Nice lady, unlocked gate.  Walk, walk, walk. Sad Bama fans.  Happy Auburn fans. Drunk football fans. Walk, walk, walk. Why do they make us park so far away? Walk, walk, walk. Knee hurts more. Getting old sucks. Pack gear, head out. Drive 2-3 minutes. Brakelights. Gridlock. Sucky pig. Five miles, one hour. Top speed 20 mph. drive, drive, drive - slowly. Finally, traffic clears. Zoom, zoom, zoom 70 mph feels like 120 mph! Eat two cheeseburgers with extra pickles while driving. Stephen King creepier at night. Highway 36 at night, ribbon of asphalt under stars. Tennessee River, almost home. Pull into driveway, eighteen hours after leaving. Happy dogs. Home.

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